Providing psychotherapeutic services to people across a number of communities, (LGBTQ+, BDSM/Kink and Sex work) where I am involved, raises questions about professional boundaries.
In these comparatively small communities, it may not be possible to uphold the strict separation between professional and personal/community life that is desired and usually afforded to clients who are not part of these communities.
During our professional relationship, it is possible that you as the client and I as the practitioner will see each other, or bump into each other; perhaps at a party, workshop, festival or other online/IRL gathering. And so, there is a need to be clear about ethical practice, boundaries and confidentiality in these circumstances.
In the BSDM/kink communities, there is also the complicating element of play, often public and generally considered erotic.
The following are preliminary guidelines, that may need to be reviewed and revised in an individual basis as experience dictates to keep us both protected.
Confidentiality:
This is likely to be the major concern for potential clients. It is also a central element in professional codes of ethical behaviour, as well as part of the statutory requirements. It is a value I personally feel strongly about.
- I adhere to all of the usual safeguards for confidentially and secure record keeping.
- What happens during professional interactions, will not be shared with anyone else, without a signed release of information from you or in the unlikely instances as required in law or by court order The exception to this is in supervision, where I discuss my practice with another therapist in a confidential environment. Regular supervision comes under the ethics of my membership organisation and helps me give a better service to my clients.
- I will not out anyone’s interests, activities or even presence at events and gatherings to anyone
- If we meet in public, I will take my cue from how you acknowledge me, and/or what we have talked about and agreed upon. Otherwise, I may make eye contact, smile or nod, but not go beyond that. We can discuss in a session how we are going to acknowledge each other, if at all. It isn’t rude to decide to not acknowledge each other. It’s about what makes you, the client, feel more comfortable. There are all kinds of ways that we might have become casually acquainted, other than our actual professional relationship. However, if you identify me to others as your therapist, it will be hard for me to deny it. Of course, I still will not talk about what we are working on.
- To protect the integrity of the professional work we are doing together. We cannot connect and have direct contact in these spaces outside of our work together. This includes any social activities such as online friendships/following each other on social media, and in workshop spaces where touch and play may be present
- These boundaries will remain in place for a minimum of 6 months after our professional work together completes and may be extended according to individual circumstances
- And in the same way, as I am bound to protect you, your data and your confidentiality at all times, I request that you also maintain confidentiality for me in terms of my contact details, home address or any other personal information you discover during the course of our work together
Friends and Acquaintances:
There are prohibitions against dual relationships. Generally, this refers to romantic relationships, sexual activity, and being good friends outside of the therapy relationship. It might also extend to some business relationships. And it includes family members or significant others of either friends or clients.
- If we know each other as good friends, it is unlikely that I will take you on as a paying client. However, I would be happy to have a coffee, as friends and talk
- If we are casual acquaintances but do not know each other well, it may be appropriate to work together as practitioners and client. We will need to discuss and agree on the implications of working together before our professional engagement begins
- In the distance between good friends and casual acquaintances, we would need to take time to discuss how a professional relationship may or may not work
- And I am happy to refer you to a suitable colleague if any overlap or complications can be foreseen
Public Play:
In general, nowadays, I rarely play in public. If we have previously witnessed each other in scenes at parties and other public events, particularly if they involved nudity, sex, extreme pain, humiliation or emotional intensity, we will need to discuss whether and how that might affect working together.
If you become a client, we will agree to share with each other any plans to attend specific public play events. After talking about it, if we still decide to go to the same one, we will set some rules for the event, such as agreeing not to watch each other’s scenes. The rare exception to that would be if a client requests me to observe a scene, which is directly related to something they are working on in therapy, so I can better understand the issue, and/or be helpful in a more specific way. The type of scene, the therapeutic issues, and other interpersonal dynamics, would determine how much discussion and preparation we would need to do before that might occur.
If you are considering working with me and want to clarify how that would look, please get in touch.
Adapted with thanks from similar by Dominic Davies, CEO of Pink Therapy
Margo Anton 